There is a story I’ve heard about a monk’s begging bowl. Each morning the monk would go out into the world with an empty bowl. Whatever he was given that day - some money, food, a book - would be his sustenance. The monk also had to create space in the bowl. The bowl needed to be empty first to have space for what would come the next day. There had to be time to digest/use what was given…no hoarding or adding to an already full bowl.
This is a hard thing for me – emptying my bowl before adding something new. I’m greedy. I want all the good things and to save a bit, just in case there are lean times coming. FOMO (fear of missing out) is a real thing! The down side of continuing to add stuff is that I know I’m not making time to take care of myself (see Paradox of Self-Care).
The idea of holding space is also connected to having boundaries. You have to say no to make space for something else (opportunity costs). Boundaries are not innate skill – I have to work at it. I’m really bad at saying “no”. Saying yes to all the great opportunities or everyone who is suffering is my default setting. In that mindset, it’s been easy for me to get lost and buried in all the stuff.
Are you feeling this too? This time of year can be full of so many things you want to do, so many obligations, so may “have to do it now!” opportunities. It doesn’t help that the weather and shorter daylight hours are inviting us to slow down in spite of the urgency of the season. No wonder so many feel overwhelmed and exhausted.
Ingredients for making space:
· Intention – connect to the “why” of making the space. What will holding this space do for you?
· Little bit of discipline – need to be consistent, coming back to intention regularly, making it a habit or even creating a reminder on your calendar ;).
· Trusting that you are making the right choice – saying no to something, making that space, means trusting that this “no” is the right choice and whatever comes next is necessary.
I’m doing something crazy (for me) this month. I’m deliberately taking time off of work. The past few years, and especially the last 12 months, I have been very focused on work. I love what I do and the folks I work with (insert your name here). I am very proud and connected to helping folks feel better and empowered. Over the past year there has been a sense within myself and in the world that the lessons of yoga – discernment, clear awareness, connecting to each other, taking a breath – are most needed. In the effort to provide I have gotten caught up in the action of doing and kind of let go of the practice of holding space for myself.
I used to go away to “yoga camp” for twice a year. The two-week retreat was a place to immerse myself in learning, feeding myself and connecting to powerful practices. It’s been a long time since I’ve given myself that time…so I’ve decided to take it this month. My intention is to hold space for myself…to rest, to dive deep into some new trainings, and to refuel.
So, in this crazy season, join me in holding some space for yourself! Check the class calendar for meeting dates.
*If you’re interested – I will be completing neuro-motor training with Z-Health. Learning more about the power of the brain in how we move, how to improve balance/reduce vertigo, and better manage pain. I’m looking forward to sharing more fun brain games in the new year!